I am unceasingly impressed by people who have enough confidence to rise above their fears, by those individuals who realize that they themselves are greater than the imaginary barriers of the mind. This is why I'm thrilled to announce that today's post is from Malta expat
Davinia Hamilton. She recently relocated to Dublin, and shares below her methods of dealing with loneliness.
Moving abroad: How to deal with loneliness
Last month, I finally realized my lifelong dream of living abroad when I left my home country of Malta and made the big move to Dublin, Ireland. The first few days were dream-like. It still felt like a holiday, and so my thoughts never even tuned into loneliness. I was on a high of sightseeing, shopping for pretty things to put in my new room and pinching myself every five minutes to make sure all this was really happening.
And then, slowly, as the high started to wear off, I began to feel lonely. The homesickness – something I’d never expected myself to feel – started to set in. Sure, I live with two flatmates – among them my best friend – but they are both at work during the day and I had moved a month before college was due to start, which meant I had to entertain myself during the day for an entire month.
Lucky for me, there is always something happening in Dublin, so there really are no excuses. It really is just a matter of getting off your backside and getting out there and doing things. But then, especially on a student’s budget, you can’t quite take yourself to lunch and a movie very often. Some days you find yourself sitting at home, eating cup noodles and feeling quite miserable because you miss your family and friends, and in my case my boyfriend who I lived with back home.
So how do you overcome loneliness when you’ve just moved away from the place you called home? How do you go about making new friends in a new city?
Turn to acquaintances
Do you have any acquaintances at all in this new place? Maybe a fellow blogger who you’ve been conversing with via email for a while? Perhaps a former colleague or classmate who moved too? A relative or a friend of a friend? Now’s the time to get in touch with them. Send them an email or give them a ring and let them know that you’re around and you’d love to hang out with them sometime. Chances are, they were in your situation when they first moved and they’ll be more than happy to help a fellow human being feel more at home. You may find that you actually get along with them really well; what’s more, they’ll have friends they can introduce you to, and that’s how your circle of friends will grow.
Remember old friends
Just because you’ve left your home town doesn’t mean you can forget the loved ones you left behind. Have Skype dates with your close friends. If your girlfriends always met up for wine and a pizza at home every Friday night, ask if you can continue to join them via your webcam. Seeing old friends helps you feel less homesick if you’re having an off day and a friend can remind you that you’ve done the right thing by moving, especially if they’ve heard you complain for years about how much you want to travel.
Do new things
When you move to your new home, keep an eye out for groups you can join. Always fancied yourself an actress? Join a drama club! Want to learn how to make a mean Baked Alaska? Get yourself into a cookery class. Taking part in activities helps you feel involved in the community and also allows you to meet people with similar interests. Most people are lovely and, when they realize you are new, will go out of their way to befriend you.
Love yourself
Being away from home is a great exercise in self-love. There will be times when you will have to be on your own and you will have to learn to enjoy your own company. Since I moved (and I don’t share a bedroom with my boyfriend any more), I’ve begun to read a lot more, I watch way more soppy films and I’ve started to meditate again. During the day, sometimes, I just wander out of the house and walk around this lovely city all on my own, just enjoying the sights and the experience. And I’ve realized that, yes actually, I do like my own company sometimes, and it’s hard to feel lonely if you’re holding a great book and a big mug of hot chocolate.
Davinia Hamilton is a blogger, entrepreneur and serial Tweeter. She is currently studying for an M.Sc. in Applied Digital Media and likes to sing, take photos of everything and read books about quantum physics.
