30 day song challenge: Day 14 & a VERY long read

A song you like hearing live.

Wowza, that's tough. There are so many things that could fit into this category. BUT. Keeping it simple, I saw this song live last week, and it was the shit. There's no video for it, but that link will give you direct access. Go listen to it. And only read through the rest of this post if you have some serious time to kill.

***

I'm gonna get real honest about some less-than-happy subject matter right now, and not because I'm asking for your pity or because I think my feelings make me a special, unique snowflake. On the contrary, I get the sense that a lot of twentysomethings are dealing with varying degrees of this situation, and when a friend or two or three reminded me that I wasn't alone, I felt less like shit. So if you're feeling like shit, maybe this will help you, too.

There are some days that I wake up and just. hate. myself. My self-confidence stash is at E, and my flaws weigh more heavily on me than the scarves, boots and coats I'll soon have to don in the coming months. And that's not because I wake up feeling like a bad person; it's because I wake up feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and powerless to push my life in the direction I want. I'm a rag doll being dragged through each day, barely keeping up with the pace. And when that happens day after day, week after week, I forget who "me" even is.

Taken straight from an email I just wrote to a very close friend:

"The nights I can come home and work on anything non-job-related are few and far between, and if there's no time to do my own thing, how will I ever grow/eventually move upward? This mentality, plus some serious self-doubt after meeting so many experienced, intelligent and (this is my own term for them) real music industry people has led to a pretty rough past few weeks. I was standing in the middle of a very excited, very sweaty crowd at a release party on Tuesday night when it hit me that I don't even know what music I like. One of my co-workers is always trying to get me to describe what my "sound" is. And I've never been able to give him a straight answer. I can tell him the bands that I once loved because I grew up listening to them, laughable as they are now (picture me as a 12-year-old downloading Guster, Dispatch and, later, every artist from the Garden State soundtrack), and what I'm listening to on a day-to-day basis (a lot of Delicate Steve, some Soul Coughing for nostalgia and a handful of other things), but in reality, I have no fucking clue how to even describe what "my" taste is. And that made me so indescribably sad. 

"Suddenly, nothing sounded good to me. No music sounded appealing, none of my favorite foods sounded appealing (there was FREE ICE CREAM being given away at this show), not even a good pumpkin beer sounded appealing."

I'm serious about this, you guys. I worked hard, made amazing connections, graduated from college early and landed my dream job where I get to do a bunch of awesome things, but even so, life isn't all concerts and butterflies.

"I got up the next morning with zero confidence in my ability to do anything but brush my teeth and maybe get dressed. Who had hired me to talk about music, and why? And how could I ever progress from here if the rest of my skills--design, web-building, whatever--are disappointingly subpar from lack of practice/real creativity? I felt destined to forever hold an office job under someone else's watch, to be tied to a desk and to be forever tired, confused, utterly mediocre and tasteless."

But the story gets better! Because here's the important part: This happens to everyone sometimes. And if you are a human being trying to better your life in some way, it will undoubtedly happen to you. No matter what you're doing--trying to pass a class, searching for jobs or just making an effort to survive the one you have--you WILL experience days in which you wake up, look in the mirror and want to do nothing but crawl back into bed. You WILL suffer severe bouts of self-doubt and question your own judgments. It happens.

But it WILL pass, too. You've got, got, got to remember that you're not stupid, you're not unqualified and you're not alone. See the response I received to that email to emphasize this point:

"YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE GOALS. I know so many people who will NEVER pursue their aspirations because it is easier to get all bummed out and give yourself excuses that kept you from doing so. But you know what? as slow as it may happen, you are working towards those goals right now, and no one's stopping you. That's pretty awesome."

This friend ^^ was right.

Oh, and on where I am at this point? Though I'm still trying to find my footing on what makes me love or hate a band, and I'm still trying to push past mediocrity when it comes to non-work projects, I know I'm out of that awful low phase because my appetite is back. This girl came over last night to catch up, bake a red wine chocolate cake with me and talk about life.

More than half of that cake is gone by now.

So long, summer

This was the final weekend of summer exploration.

Descriptive words might include:

Cactus tacos

Sand

SoHo

Bubble tea (taro and strawberry green)

Blue moons

Bridges

Ferries

Roller coasters

Coney Island

Drunk

I'm nearly crying at the onset of cool weather.

Thank goodness for pumpkin everything.

And apple-picking.

And legwarmers.

And music.

Oh, so. much. music.

The three strongest feelings you're having about fall right now: GO.

(Mine are enthusiasm, apprehension, nostalgia)

(And possibly Halloween festivities)

Making Due With What You Have: Two-Minute Banana Ice Cream

I feel I should preface this post by dividing the world into two categories: those who can stomach spotty, thin-skinned, overripe bananas…and those who can’t. 

I am an unashamed member of the latter category. 

Criteria for an edible banana are as follows: 

- Bright yellow coloring 

- 10:90 ratio, at most, of spots to smoothness 

- Thick, non-mushy peel 

A banana that fits this description is food of the gods. Ripened past this stage, though, it is gag-worthy.

Ready for retirement.

So imagine my stunned excitement when I discovered that I could turn one of my least favorite leftovers into one of my MOST favorite desserts…ice cream. 

Yes. Ice cream. For (almost) free. 

Can we stop and reflect on this for a minute? 

Okay. Moving on. 

Obviously, I am not the first to post this life-changing recipe. Dozens of other, more creative and health-conscious foodies claim it as their own, depending on the two or three ingredients they vary. Chocolate Covered Katie makes her ice cream taste like cake batter, and Linda Wagner turns hers into a chocolate-lover’s heaven. Due to laziness, however, I most often find myself using just two simple spices: cinnamon and vanilla. 

Well, there was one time that I substituted coconut rum for the milk. We’ll chalk that experiment up to good ol’ summer fun. 

What really rocks about this recipe is that it takes, like, two minutes to make, from pulling the bananas out of the freezer to pulling the spoon out of your mouth after the first bite. This is good news if you're someone who lacks the patience to let cookies cool off before devouring them and singeing your tongue, or frosts a cake while it's still warm and ends up with a big gooey mess all over the counter. Not that I know from experience.

About to be ice creamed.

Two-Minute Banana Ice Cream

- 2 very ripe bananas, peeled and frozen 

- ¼ tsp cinnamon 

- ¼ tsp vanilla extract 

- ¼ cup milk* 

*You could substitute soymilk, almond milk etc. if you want a vegan version

*Or you could substitute rum if it’s after 5 p.m. 

Combine all ingredients in a food processor. Blend. Eat. Feel awesome. 

Trying out Linda Wagner's chocolate version. Nom.

What’s your favorite way to use up leftover fruit? And if you tried this recipe, how would you tweak it to your tastes? Would you add mint extract? Peanut butter? Berries? 

Making Due With What You Have: Fudgy Peanut Butter Blondies

As you may have read on Wednesday, I engaged in a bit of top-secret activity last weekend. I threw together a batch of these:

Rich, peanut buttery blondies. Loaded with chocolate chips. Dense like fudge, crumbly like cookies. Wow. YUM.

The kicker: I only used about half the ingredients that normally go into baked sweets. Vanilla? Check. Brown sugar? Check. Baking soda and baking powder? Check!

And honestly, who could forget the peanut butter?

But what about...

Eggs?

Butter?
Milk?

Noooope. There were none to be found in my fridge.

So what secret ingredient made blondies so tasty that no one could even tell I hadn't been grocery shopping in three weeks?

The answer:

Beans.

Yep.

Lima beans.

Talk about making due! Chocolate Covered Katie really knows how to rock the vegan recipes. I myself am not a vegan, but these babies saved me a trip to the store--because really, who wants to walk halfway across town in 95-degree heat? Thanks, but I'll pass.

Rather than waste time posting the whole recipe on this page, I'll make life easier (for both you and me) and send you straight to the master herself. These are so worth it. I promise.

How do you feel about "experimental" baking? Are you a staunch butter-lover? Or do you like to...er...mix up the dough?

Making Due With What You Have: Homemade Postcards

You can make them yourself. For real.

Few early twentysomethings possess unlimited funds or the ability to spend freely; we’re environmentally friendly out of necessity. We recycle a few items of clothes over and over to pay for gas, we scrimp on food to afford rent, and we save the extra twenty bucks here or there for Chinese takeout. Or for $3 Wells night. Take your pick.

And so, for all the young twentysomethings and generally thrifty souls out there, begins the first of the General Overachiever series: Making Due With What You Have.

This first Making Due post grew from two roots: the first was my own desire to live a creative life within the bounds of a bite-sized budget. The second was the making of a new friend, Halley over at Life of Something New, upon the discovery of her incredible "SOS: Send Love" project (please take a minute to read more about SOS on her site).

As an ardent believer in the beauty of snail mail, I made a resolution last January to send my long-distance loved ones a postcard each month. But really, who wants to find Times Square or the Jersey Shore in their mailbox twelve times in a row? O.ver.done. Boooring. So instead, I share my own photos!

Benefits of homemade postcards:

1. They're way more personal! Your friends can see exactly where you've been, exactly the way you saw it. And they'll be the only person to ever receive that awesome piece o' mail.

2. They're dirt cheap. I think I spent more money on a bag of marshmallows for last week's camping trip.

3. They're a great way to get rid of all the old photos you have lying around. Cleaning, hooray!

3. The whole project takes a grand total of about two seconds. TWO. Maybe three if your pen runs out of ink halfway through and you have to scavenge your room for a new one.

So without further ado, I present the recipe for Homemade Postcards.

1. Gather up all the postcard-worthy photos you can find (or order them for a few cents apiece from Snapfish).

Someone threw all these photos on my floor! Aargh!

2. Find a pen and a sheet of stamps. *Pssst! Postcard stamps are actually cheaper than regular stamps!

I think the most expensive part of this project was the $2 sheet of stamps.

3. Draw a line on the back of your chosen photo to divide the message and address sections. Attach stamp.

4. Jot down a note, just like you would on a "real" postcard.

That's it! You're done! Can you believe how easy that was? Now take all the energy and spare change you just saved and buy yourself an ice cream cone. Because it's almost July, and July was basically invented for eating ice cream cones.